But there are a lot of pros, too. There was never any issue about commitment. My husband had already lived a pretty full life — if men have biological clocks, his was definitely ticking. He is a very devoted and dependable father; his maturity really came into its own when he became a dad.
We've worked very well as parents, planning and agreeing on courses of action, giving the children a strong framework. The fact that he had a steady income and a house relieved much of the pressure young couples must feel when they become parents. Although it may not have been my wisest choice to settle down so young, I feel I've gained in having a partner who carries with him so much life experience and fullness of character. I have recently started seeing an older man.
I'm 34 and he has just turned 50 — a gaping chasm of 16 years. In the past I have generally dated men my age or younger, so this sudden leap into the world of "the older man" was a life change for me, and what a splendid one it has proved to be. Our cultural references may be a bit different, but that's the only thing highlighting our age gap. We laugh at the same things and have similar hobbies, and yes, I find him very attractive indeed.
30 year old man dating 20 year old woman? - age difference relationship | Ask MetaFilter
He might not be able to do the splits as well as he used to allegedly or stay up very late week nights, but who gives a damn? I remember my dear old grandma saying on the morning of her 85th birthday that she still felt 21 inside, and I think this is something people forget when denouncing couples with an age gap.
We're all youngsters inside. Yes, that would be lovely thanks. I have one, and he's still able to play "it" with his grandsons at the age of I am 49, and my partner is We have been together for the last six years and have weathered the twilight years of my fertility together.
While childrearing was discussed and rejected, it remains to be seen whether this is something he ultimately decides he cannot live without. I do think there is a big difference in how age-gap relationships are viewed depending on who is older, largely because of reproductive issues: If the woman is the older, it is either trivialised as a "cougar" fling, or viewed as a tragedy for the hapless younger man.
In our case, we each grappled extensively with the age difference in our own way in the beginning, but realised after a couple of years that what we really wanted was to be together.
The key to age gap relationships is not to try to deny the difference, but not to get too hung up about it either. Now I am a 27 year old happily married to a 35 year old. In our case, it worked out beautifully and things are pretty great with us.
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I am so, so glad I ddin't reject him just because of his age. Just a data point. But, I would not have dated him while living with my parents or while working with him. Too much pressure - if things go wrong and your parents find out and she has to move in with you, would she have to switch schools and jobs? There is so much on the line here; I think the age difference is not the biggest concern.
I'm much more concerned about her living under your parents' roof and risking her living situation than I am about the age difference. Them being coworkers is also a concern. Both of those things can lead to a lot more drama and strife than anything related to age differences. Dating someone your parents don't approve of while you live with them, and that person also being a coworker is a horrible idea.
Pretty sure no good can come from any of that. When I was 24, I very briefly took up with a 38 year old. To no ill effect, and in fact we're friends to this day. That said, that was a different situation because this guy was by no means my "first" anything - I'd definitely been around the block by 24 - and also, we broke up very quickly because the age difference made him uncomfortable the fact that at 24 I looked barely legal probably didn't help, either.
It was very obvious from the get-go that this was not "meant to be" in any significant sense. How long have they been together? That's another concern - I would feel less sketchy about this if you hadn't said that things were "moving very quickly". But that's another thing I tend to distrust no matter what the ages are.
Why not meet the guy, see them together, and get a sense of what they're like as a couple? There are plenty of immature 30 year old men in the US.
Drake is apparently now dating an 18-year-old ...it's The Dredge
I know at 20 years old I still had a lot of growing up to do. She is more mature than me than I was at that age though You're you, and she's her. You need to take care of yourself, and let her do for herself, unless or until some sort of actual harm enters the situation. And even then, you need to remember that there's only so much you can to for someone else when romance is concerned, even if they're someone you love and feel protective of.
Beginning when I was 25, I was in a relationship with a 40 year old for two years which started out by moving very quickly. There were a lot of personality issues and personal problems that made the relationship not work on both our parts , but age itself wasn't one of the factors that made it difficult, and we are still friends now. Four years later, I can see that I got a lot out of that relationship, difficult as it was. The only possibly, though maybe not age-related issues I can think of that arose had to do with expectations.
She had certain things that she expected because she was used to them: Also, as a 31 year old I can say that I've known a number of year-olds at or near my level of maturity. If they're both treating each other well, I wouldn't worry about the age difference. I'd be more concerned about the prospects of a failed relationship with a co-worker than anything else. I was 18 when I started dating my now-husband, who was It's now 13 years later and we are still perfectly happy together.
I'd be more worried in her case about the potential getting-kicked-out-of-home thing. But since she's working, she could presumably afford to rent a place, yes? Maybe she'd have to share with people, but that's kind of normal for someone her age. I haven't read the other answers, but I have thought about age differences in dating a lot. Mostly because I am 21 and have dated people much older than me before - pretty much the same spread as between your sister and her guy. The issues that I stumbled into were: Be prepared to have that conversation earlier. Things that your older boyfriend remembers from childhood are different than yours.
This can be a big deal or not. Either make a joke of it or don't acknowledge it, but it is still going to come up a bunch and both parties have to be okay with it to deal with that. Who's career will take precedence in regards to things like moving - it might end up being th person more established in their which would tend to be the older partner. This is particularly relevant if they work in the same place!
It is important to integrate, at least to some degree, your friends and your partner. Do they get along despite an age difference? This is a good indicator as to whether they are the kind of person your sister might otherwise date, just older. Basically, get ready to have a lot of conversations sooner than you might have had you not dated up a decade.
It can go great, and in twenty years be of no notice to them anymore as their kid graduates high school. Or she might get burned, like any other relationship. There are just different questions to ask and risks to be taken. I know a couple of Mormon marriages with this age spread. After all, the Young Single Adult program is for ages 18 to 30, and late-blooming RMs dating freshmen at BYU can easily have a five or six year age gap for that matter, some grad students date freshmen and sophomores at BYU, simply because so many girls get married young there, and the pool of year-old single women is quite small.
Your parents will be more mad about the sex and the lying than the age thing, I bet.
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Incidentally, it's probably a lot healthier for her to not be living with your parents if she's choosing to live her life this way. As for the bottom-line question: I'd be concerned if this was her first at-all relationship; that it's her first serious relationship and he's so much older is a bit of a warning sign. It might be a little too much rebellion and danger and not enough "this is really right for who I am," but that's the sort of thing that people have to sort out for themselves. It doesn't sound like you're worried about her safety, so.
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Long before I ever met my wife, she was involved in a similar relationship, age-wise. She was about 20 and living with her boyfriend who was about Eventually they broke up, obviously, but she turned out ok. She's now happily married to me, we have a nice house, she's pregnant with our first child. We went sailing in Greece last year. Are any of these things relevant? I don't know, how are you going to judge damage done by this age difference? What's my opinion of the guy? I don't know, I never met him.
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I'd have to guess he's not the most mature person for his age or wasn't 10 years ago, anyway. What did her family think? I don't know, does it matter now? Would that have changed anything? I also lived with a girlfriend when I was about the same age as she was. My girlfriend at the time was 6 months younger than me, which would apparently be a lot less alarming.
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Like you, I had a lot of growing up left to do so did my girlfriend.