All those little things that make a BIG difference. And that means there will be an air of hyper-masculinity any time the boys are present.
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In one sense, they are one of the best at dealing with women who want both independence and interdependence. His strength and demeanor will also always make you feel safe. Especially if they were in combat, it will likely affect the way they see the world. So while their exterior may be hard, many will also have centers that are soft and mushy inside. Guys in the military tend to have great stories — some of which are obviously exaggerated. He will teach you many things about culture, about people, and about life.
But he will make you more curious. Not only about him, but about the world around you. And he will let you know that not only does he want to take care of you, he wants to let you take care of him too. He is the most solid, loving, unflappable and smartest man I've ever met. He's been deployed twice, for 12 months, and 15 months and he came back pretty much the same, except maybe more focused.
There have been parts that sucked, like birthing 2 of 3 of our kids without him, but he is so worth it. I dated an ex-military man.
5 Warnings For Dating A Generation Y Military Man
They never lose that ability to wake up early! It's like they're still in the service! Also, I learned a very important thing from him that I use in my life now: It's saved me a lot of heartache and worry. We both moved on to other people, but I'd say by and large, he was fine to date. Mine hates getting up in the morning. He only does it because if he didn't that would be desertion. Mine had the coffee and bacon and eggs going and I'd be in never never land.
I guess it takes all kinds! I haven't had any experience, but my brother is in the military and has a pretty good relationship with my sister-in-law; he and I are close, so I know the ups and downs. People are individuals, and you don't want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy! As for my brother's marriage, I don't think there is anything out of the ordinary other than he is gone a lot and she has to understand and deal with that. That also leads to her being a bit possessive when he gets back understandably , but it can cause a bit of a strain when they visit.
He is such a laid back person, had never threatened her she would have told me , or anything. I don't think it's necessarily the military that has done anything. I think my parents just raised him and me to not be shitty people and to treat others well. I know and have met quite a few awesome military guys full disclosure: Any that I've hung around have been awesome, mature, not terribly macho, and just generally disciplined and responsible guys.
The ones with wives or girlfriends are really respectful, kind, and committed, despite dealing with LDRs in some cases. There's never been anything to indicate that they were jerks, though of course they could have secret double lives or something. However, these guys are military intelligence, which they admit can be a different breed from military infantry. They're also a small sample, but from talking to them they don't feel like exceptions among the people in their area of the military though they were sometimes out of place among the general population in basic training.
He was emotionally abusive and I am still trying to break out of feeling inadequate eight months after breaking up with him. When I see him on the street, I get flashbacks and it's like he still has power over me, even though I'm dating the best man in the world right now. I regret ever meeting that military dude.
Now I get scared of making anybody mad because I'm afraid they'll hit me. OP, please be careful. People never really mean to be abusive, I think, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt and that it won't fuck you up. Fingers crossed that he isn't a piece of shit: I dated someone and dumped him partially because of his plans to join the military. I couldn't do that whole He had some mental issues, but I don't think they were military related per se, he was just a bit depressed and unsure of himself.
Now he's stuck himself in an abusive relationship with a girl because of his seeming need to get married right away.
I feel bad for him. My cousin's married to a military man and they seem quite happy. However when he was discharged his daily physical activity changed but his diet didn't and it shows - I don't think she cares though, it's just a big difference in how he looks in just over a year.
Thank you everyone for your responses. The variety of experiences is very interesying. For sure I'm going to give this guy a chance.
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As one poster mentioned, I really don't want to become a self fulfilling prophesy. I'm married to a military man. Granted, we did date before he joined. Yes, there are many cheaters in the military.. Give him a chance It's probably different depending on where they end up in the military.
What was your experience in dating military men? : AskWomen
I dated a guy from the coast guard. Him and all of his buddies were heavy drinkers. He was away a lot for long periods of time, which is a drawback. But he was a good guy and it seemed like the only thing that influenced him from the military was his drinking. Canadian military, so different ball game. Absolutely exemplary men and attentive respectful lovers.
The one that was in Afghanistan twice suffers from alcoholism now though, so that's sad. I haven't had a bad experience dating anyone in the military. Sometimes the attraction just wasn't there, but they were all very well-mannered, and seemed to have a lot of their priorities in order.
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They knew what they wanted out of life, and they knew what they needed to do to achieve that. That confidence - not cockiness- is something that I have always found attractive. Never dated a guy in the military that was awful or violent. I just find they don't really match up with my personal attitudes or goals.
The ones I have dates have been friendly though, usually more energetic. My ex who was very violent, immature, and threatened me, only went to The Citadel for about a year, so I'm not so sure he counts as military. He was discharged from there anyway. Not because of he was violent; he just had bad schizophrenia. PTSD after returning from overseas that severely exasperated the substance abuse and domestic abuse, plus I got to listen to him crying in the locked bathroom at night and find pictures on his camera of rotting bodies with no heads.
We divorced, and apparently he spiraled pretty hard for a long time, from pot and alcohol to harder things like cocaine.