Dating someone with reactive attachment disorder

I started going to work at the daycare with my mom at 14 and found that I love interacting with little kids under 5 years old. There is a relaxing quality about taking care of them and most of them are really sweet. The ones that aren't are just plain cute. Angry children aren't threatening or scary even a little bit and it does not take much to gain the trust of most children. I am actually working towards getting a psych degree and being stable enough to help others with RAD get stable too.

Today nearly 11 years after I discovered that being around children was helping me to learn to trust and care about people I am stable "enough" to be mostly happily married, even despite my physical contact issues which frustrate my husband to no end but I'm better about it now. I have a beautiful, genius level , amazingly healthy, perfectly normal son.

I even managed to make a handlful of friends along the way! I still fight panic attacks, depression, general hatred of people, PTSD and social anxiety episodes which sounds much milder than it is. I also still have problems with self harm when overwhelmed since harming others is no longer an option. But none of that is a problem when my son is around and to a lesser degree my husband.

Even in the middle of a quiet panic attack as I call them cause no one can tell I am having one generally they never fail to calm me just entering room. I have never been one to make a scene though.


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Sorry for the rant i am prego with my second and I am wondering how I will manage to keep my son from knowing how screwed up his mother is. I don't want him getting exposed to any of my "episodes " ever no matter how much better they are now. With my first I got a bit worse for a while due to the craziness of being prego and homeless living in crappy tiny houses with too many people to prevent being really homeless.

At least we are financially stable now.

I took over the money after that Just don't get discouraged too much, something I know is almost impossible. If I had any advice for both parents and people with RAD it would be in my motto "all thing go away, be it now or when you or it are dead".

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That sounds bad or cliche I know, but my motto used to only contain the first part so you can see the progress right? A lot of this disorder is based on developmental trauma. For anyone else who stumbles on this blog after I do, help is "easier" than you think. I can personally recommend a therapy called "somatic experiencing" that can go a long way Wednesday, December 10, Adult Attachment Disorder.

Coping With Reactive Attachment Disorder

This is a subject I haven't lived with. But Bear is 16 and fast approaching adulthood. I see on my stat counter that often this is a topic that is googled. So I thought I'd dig around a little and see what I can find. What I find is that living with an adult with attachment disorder would be a tough tough life.

This first information is from Evergreen Consultants. I bet anything people with adult attachment disorder are diagnosed with personality disorders. It would be tough to tell the difference. I think, as a mom observer, the key is looking at what lies underneath. What started it all?

Was there some form of abandonment or severe neglect especially in the first 3 years of life? Patterns of attachment continue through the life cycle and across generations. New relations are affected by the expectations developed in past relationships. There is a strong correlation between insecure adult attachment and marital dissatisfaction and negative marital interactions. Attachment problems are often handed down transgenerationally unless someone breaks the chain. As a parent, an insecurely attached adult may lack the ability to form a strong attachment to their child and provide the necessary attachment cues required for the healthy emotional development of the child thereby predisposing their child to a lifetime of relationship difficulties.

Depending on the genetic personality style of the individual and the early life events experienced, insecurely attached adults fall in one of two categories of insecure attachment: So why put hearts on a site where people are suffering and lonely? The hearts are there to remind you that people really do love you and care about you.

You are not alone and you really are lovable.

Find an Attachment Therapist

I'll say that again in case you missed that. You really are lovable! So when you are feeling lonely, sad, depressed, or thinking you are not worthy, remember the hearts, you are lovable!


  1. Dating Someone with Avoidant Attachment Disorder?
  2. Wednesday, August 6, 2008!
  3. You are here!
  4. Here you will find adults working at overcoming attachment disorder, adults who have overcome attachment disorder, or adults who have relationships with someone who has attachment disorder. I have a dear friend who has a relative who began her healing from RAD in her 60s and is doing very well.

    When Anxious Meets Avoidant — How Attachment Styles Help and Hurt our Relationships

    ALL things are possible. Never give up hope. Be determined to find the help you and your family need. Posted by Brenda at 7: December 10, at 5: December 10, at 6: March 8, at February 17, at 2: October 31, at 7: November 10, at 1: December 13, at June 17, at 9: Dose any of this mean i have rad if so please tell me if i can get help and how July 6, at 2: July 19, at 2: July 31, at 2: Newer Post Older Post Home.

    I want to be healthy, to heal and have close healthy relationships. I have been grieving a lot, my losses because of this disorder. However, I am very grateful for the progress I have made through all the effort I have put out all these years. I do have hope for the future. I am a youthful 67 years old, and am hoping for a lot of years in which to live a more healthy and productive life. Wow I wish that more people would post more info abt this RAD.

    Just discovered mine now at I had to scrape my jaw off the flaw I was so stunned. It was like they were talking about me??? I want and need to meet more people with it so to help me understand and relate and then how to make it all better Can Anyone direct me to a blog or web site? My husband has a hard time showing emotion towards me.

    LIVING WITH RAD: Adult Attachment Disorder

    He doesn't hug or kiss or hold my hand or things like that especially in public - but we hav been married 16 years and I know he loves me. He had a very hard childhood being born to a mother with a meth addiction and being bounced around from one type of home drugs and alcohol to another his grandparents or aunts and uncles very religious required him to attend christian school - his mom died of an over dose and his father drowned when my husband was 14 - anyway in discussing this w a friend she told me he could possibly have rad - can any of u give me any advice or does this sound correct?

    This RAD road is a difficult one to walk. My suggestion to anyone dealing with it in any capacity is to tell someone. Everyone needs a helping hand. Nobody can thrive on their own.

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    Do as much research as humanly possible. Be transparent use wisdom and you will find that others will be attracted to your transparency and then they will come forward with their own stories. He is doing a good work. He is faithful to complete it. Love others and yourself in truth. My husband and I have been together 4 years, married 3 and friends for 5 years before we became a couple. He was abused in the orphanage and then again in his adoptive home. His adoptive parents signed him over to the state at the age of 14 when he was having behavior problems and running away since they 'could no longer handle him'.

    He was placed in a group home for boys and from there got early acceptance to college at 17 where he stayed for 2 years. He then got out on his own and through his first 'real' job he met his ex wife and her family. They had a beautiful baby girl but 7 years ago she cheated and left him and kept his daughter from him since he and I have been an item. He also had another girlfriend in between our relationship and theirs but she was also unfaithful and left him.